5 Tactics I Use To Cope With Relationship Insecurity
You'll want to know what causes insecurity in a relationship. An insecure partner can feel like a millstone, But how would you know if you have. Chronic insecurity is toxic to your relationships. You can learn to stop the sinking feeling of insecurity and regain your sense of well-being. Use these 7 tips to stop feeling insecure about your relationship.
Your self-esteem and confidence can become undermined and this can make it difficult to feel able to address any problems. Where does insecurity come from?
A sense of insecurity in your relationship can stem from a number of different places. Insecurity can also stem from changes in your relationship. It can also come from issues surrounding self-image or self-esteem. We can sometimes carry feelings from past relationships into our current one — including ones with family members.
Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships
Past romantic relationships where your trust was broken can make it difficult to trust someone else. What can you do to address insecurity?
The first port of call is talking things over together. However, if you do feel able, you may find the following tips useful: Framing things more positively can get things off to a better start.
Pick the right moment.
Try to talk when things are going well, not badly. Bringing things up in the middle of an argument is only likely to create more conflict. Say how you feel, not how you think they make you feel. Even if what your partner has to say is difficult to hear, try to stick with it. A lot of times, it can lead to out of character controlling behavior as well as feelings of jealousy and neediness.
- 5 Tactics I Use To Cope With Relationship Insecurity
- I feel insecure in my relationship
So be aware of the things it is telling you. When those unproductive thoughts do pop up in your head, allow them to come and go. When I started practicing mindfulness, it helped me detach from that aggravating voice and the shitty, disempowering things it was telling me about myself.
We now know that a healthy body creates better conditions for a healthy mind, and walking has actually been shown to improve reasoning and alleviate feelings of stress. I implemented this simple practice in my last relationship and it worked wonders — whenever I began to feel insecure or anxious, I would leave my phone on my bed and go for a nice, long walk. When I came back, I felt calmer, more level-headed and ready to have a composed conversation about whatever it was that was going on with myself, and my significant other at the time.
This is really just to write your thoughts and feelings down so you can observe them better. So allow them to have their voice in your journal, and then you can begin to challenge them. But after awhile it got easier, and it became habit. Journaling gives us the benefit of perspective, it allows us to physically see our thoughts, which then makes it easier to process them and confront them with other, more empowering thoughts and beliefs.
Our insecurities can eat away at us, especially if we internalize them and keep them bottled up. Authentic, dependable friends are extremely hard to come by, so if you have someone who actually listens to you, and offers genuine guidance, hold the fuck on to them.
Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships
My roommate, who also happens to be one of my best friends, has been with me through two nasty break-ups now — poor guy. But during these relationships, whenever I was having an insecure moment, I would confide in him about it and would immediately feel better after our conversations. In my latest relationship, which was long distance, I had moments of insecurity relatively often.
But it really worked. As soon as I felt those thoughts start to creep in, I would hit the ground and immediately bust out 25 pushups. And sometimes when I stood up after, I would completely forget why I had felt insecure in the first place.
The fact is, relationships shake us up, challenge the core feelings we have about ourselves and can bring to the surface unresolved baggage from our past.