How to Maintain a Relationship with a Loved One Who's Hurt You
Being overly sensitive to other people's feelings, actions, and opinions can often put a significant strain on your relationships. In fact, your hurt feelings can pile. Relationship and Transformational Coaching. When you're hurting some people might tell you to “suck it up and deal,” as if that's a Some people even stay in abusive relationships because it's safer than happiness after having been hurt is to understand why you were hurt, to get to the.
At many points I strongly believed my emotions would consume me, bit by bit, until I was nothing but the memory of my overwhelming, righteous fury. But if you choose not to for whatever reason, if you feel that this is worth fighting for, these ideas may help you stay—and stay happy—in this relationship as it is: You need to be honest with yourself here: In my case, I created space to heal and then rebuilt a new, healthier relationship after the dynamics had transformed.
Though I knew this relationship could enhance both of our lives, I also knew I needed to be mindful of my expectationsas there are certain things it may never be or provide.
Determine what you need. You may feel that you can only forgive if this person fully acknowledges everything that hurt you and then takes responsibility for all of it. You may need to go to therapy, either alone or with this person.
Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On
Or it may be sufficient for you to recognize remorse in actions and then work, on your own, to release your feelings. After your needs are met, do the work to forgive. As with most emotions and choices, forgiving is something we may need to do repeatedly. You need to ask yourself if something needs to change in order for you to feel safe and happy in the relationship as it is. Do you need to spend less time together?
Do you need to be clear that certain topics are not open for discussion?
Do you need to assert yourself when the other person starts talking to you in a certain way? What they have in common is pain, born from different adversities and circumstances.
But none of that will help you heal and find happiness from moment to moment. The first step toward finding happiness after having been hurt is to understand why you were hurt, to get to the root of everything that makes the memories hard.
Say what you need to say anyway. Write in your journal.
How to Overcome Hurt and Start Moving on with Your Life
Write a letter and burn it. Get it all out. Try to stay in the present. Reliving the past can be addictive. It gives you the opportunity to do it again and respond differently—to fight back instead of submitting, to speak your mind instead of silencing yourself. It also allows you to possibly understand better. Where did you go wrong? What should you have done? In other words, it allows you to torture yourself.
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If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, you may need professional help to avoid revisiting the incident. Fight the urge to relive the pain.
You can only experience that now. Stop telling the story. In all reality this just keeps you stuck right where you are: No amount of reassurance will change what happened. You can only find happiness when you let it go and make room for something better. Or maybe you played a role in creating your current situation. Regardless of what happened, you need to realize that what you did is not who you are. And even if you feel immense regretyou deserve to start today without carrying that weight.
You deserve a break. You can either punish yourself and submit to misery, or forgive yourself and create the possibility of happiness. It comes down to whether you decide to dwell or move on.