How To Meet Quality Gay Guys | HuffPost
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You actually don't have to make friends in the gay community in order to feel fulfilled and satisfied. You don't have to go to nightclubs or create a dating profile when you're feeling lonely, bored or horny.
You don't have to put yourself in environments that make you feel uncomfortable. If you do, then you're doing yourself a disservice and causing harm toward your mental hygiene which is the way you keep your mind and your emotions clean and spiffy. Just like we need to stay hygienic with our physical bodies by brushing our teeth, taking showers and exercising, it's equally as important to place ourselves in healthy environments that support our happiness and social well-being.
In order to make friends outside the gay scene, you gotta answer this one question: Do you value education? Do you value giving back to communities through volunteerism or entrepreneurship? When you identify your values, then you can pick and choose communities that align with your values. There are plenty of activities that align with your values in your new city like hiking, yoga, video game clubs, book clubs, art studios, and seminars at local colleges and universities.
Going to these place and events that align with your values has got to be your number one priority because that's where you're gonna meet people just like you, regardless of whether or not they're gay or straight, male or female. The more often you show up the keywords here are "show up"you'll begin to meet people who align with your values.
As you meet and mingle with these people, I want you to become proactive in doing these 3 three things: First, get in the habit of introducing yourself.
It may feel awkward to introduce yourself to new people, but you just gotta suck it up and realize that some people are gonna become your friends and others aren't.
I always tell my students, some will, some won't, so what, someone's waiting. Make sure you remember that. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates.
If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee? Later on the both of you might figure out that was your "first" date.
Again, what do you have to lose? Plus, many of us like to get all dolled up and go to events, like fundraisers for the different causes we support. Get rid of the wing-man.
In this capacity, you help to fill the table by soliciting people for donations. As captain, you have control over who is seated at your table—which is a huge advantage for you! Plus, you get to network with others who may be single and thereby expand your circle of available men. Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new.
Local Community Classes This particular suggestion has worked well for many gay men who were formerly single. Do you like photography? What about painting, fitness, biking, aviation, cooking, horticulture, and so forth? One of the great things about about taking a class is the built-in advantage of a shared interest! Many classes are free or at little cost. You can find them by doing a Google search using your hometown or county in the search terms and seeing what pops up.
Chose a community class you are genuinely interested in and not just one where you think all of the hot men will be. Remember, it is only a shared interest if it is genuine. Volunteer This particular suggestion is a twofer when you think about it.
First, you get the benefit of giving the gift of yourself to a cause you care about. Second, you will undoubtedly meet new people. More than a few happily partnered gay men have reported that they met their man through this approach. And so if you care about the environment for example, why not contact your local Greenpeace? If your passion is supporting your local LGBT community center, why not call them to see how they can use your gifts?
Some people worry about the time commitment required to volunteer for an organization. This is a very valid concern.
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It helps if you are up front about what you can and cannot do when you speak to the volunteer coordinator. Even if you can only be a greeter for an annual event or work the coat check, for example, it is something. And hey, a little bit of something is better than a whole lot of nothing. Professional Organizations Source Yep, you read that right! A professional organization to which you may already belong likely has a chapter dedicated for LGBT members. Are you a pilot?
Are you a lawyer? Do a search on gay lawyer associations and see what pops up. In New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles for example, there are city-focused professional associations for lawyers. There are gay chapters just for LGBT folks. The point here is that whatever you do for employment, there is likely a professional organization with a gay-focused subdivision.
Almost all of them hold events, including socials, mixers, and fundraisers. If you belong to one of these associations, great—your work is half done. If not, why not look for one that fits your particular background?
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As mentioned earlier, dating is a numbers game. Many partnered men have reported meeting their husband at their local gay-friendly church or spiritual center. There are a lot of gay men who are deeply spiritual—and not just the bat-crap, self-loathing types that we often hear about, either. If you have a local place of worship or other community-based venue for spirituality and you identify with what is offered, why not give it a try?
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More and more, religious organizations are recognizing that LGBT folks have spiritual needs. If you are one of those people who are not sure what you believe in, consider taking the Belief-o-Matic self-assessment.
Did you know there are gay communities of Agnostics, Quakers, Pagans, Humanists, and so forth? And there are gay atheists who congregate, as well. Take the self-assessment to see where you fit in.