Biblical marriage relationship

What does the Bible say about marriage?

biblical marriage relationship

Marriage is the legally or formally recognized intimate and complementing .. The marriage relationship simply reinforced this dominance of women by men, providing religious, cultural, and legal structures. This means that the marriage relationship is a model of God and specifically the Trinity. When a marriage does not function properly, it mars the. As I have sought to demonstrate at some length in my book God, Marriage, and As long as a given marriage relationship meets the needs of both individuals.

Much of what we think marriage is supposed to be like came from observing the relationship between our parents when we were children. But parents are not the only role model. For the most part, the secular media promotes some very poor ideas for marriage.

Friends also serve as models. My wife and I have some friends we look up to because they have strong, healthy, loving marriages. And we have heard that our marriage is inspiring to other people. We also see some excellent biblical examples of what a good marriage can be.

My wife Wanda and I want to be like Priscilla and Aquila, who not only had a close relationship with each other, but together served Christ. They showed hospitality to Paul when he first arrived in Corinth by providing him a place to live Acts Sometimes they endangered their lives to help him spread the gospel Romans They also led Apollos to full faith in Christ Acts It is given in Ephesians 5: It is certainly the model that I try to follow in my relationship with Wanda.

But I believe the model works both ways: Marriage is meant to be a picture of the ideal relationship between man and God. The Bible often uses marital imagery to describe this relationship Song of Solomon, Hosea, Revelation This relationship with God is more important than our relationship with our spouse because God must always be first. Wanda is my second-best friend, and I am her second best friend! Also, while the relationship with a spouse ends when one or both dies, the relationship with God continues on for eternity.

Therefore, it is not that the relationship between Christ and the church is like a marriage, but that marriage is like Christ and the church. We know that Jesus Christ gave His life for us.

If this is true of our relationship with Christ, than it should also be true of the marriage relationship that it symbolizes. This is why I believe wives should also love their husbands as Christ loved the church.

The model works both ways. Think on the implications of loving our spouses as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? Sure, He died to save her, but also showed love in other ways. How did He show love to His disciples? How does He continue to show love to us? Look it up in your Bible, think about it, and apply it to your relationship with your spouse.

Instead of the husband being lethargic while Satan leads the wife into sin, he is active. He is so active that he gives his life for his wife. He serves her by washing her with the Word of God, teaching her Scripture, leading her in holiness. He makes her beautiful. And the wife submits to him as the church should submit to Christ in everything, unless her submission would cause her to disobey God.

When the world looks at the Christian marriage, they should see the gospel. The wife submits to the husband as the church submits to Christ. The husband, instead of being lethargic or oppressive, he actively caters to the spiritual needs of his wife.

When the Christian home operates like this, people see the beauty of the gospel. When the home is in disorder, it mars the gospel and it mars the image of God. It draws people away from God.

When Eve sinned, Adam was supposed to be like Christ and die in her place. Where the first Adam failed, the second Adam, Christ, succeeds. He shows us what biblical manhood is, as he dies for his bride, the church, and purifies her through the Word.

Christ came to fix broken marriages and bring them back into the original order of the Godhead. Power of Submission Peter espouses the doctrine of submission as he calls the wife to submit to the husband.

Let us again hear the transformative power of this life of submission in the wife. It is so powerful it can transform the husband. Peter says a wife who is submissive does not even need words because she lives the gospel. Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives emphasis mine.

This would have created great strife in the home and possibly oppression since the wife was considered almost like property. This would have made the marriage very tough and sometimes abusive. Often in marriages like this, where the husband is an unbeliever, the woman, with right intentions, would seek zealously to win the husband to Christ.

She does this by preaching at him, sometimes condemning his life of sin. Peter calls the woman to not do this. But all of a sudden, Christ came in, and there was this great submission. It would radically speak to the husband and potentially save his life. He would see the purity and the reverence of her life, and it lead to transformation.

In fact, we have seen this throughout history. Listen to a few of these stories of the power of a submissive life. Here is a story of a Hindu woman who was converted. A Hindu woman was converted, chiefly by hearing the Word of God read. She suffered very much persecution from her husband.

I try, sir, to show him that when I became a Christian, I became a better wife and a better mother. This man was a heavy drinker, spending late nights in the tavern. She would send the servants to bed, stay up till he returned, receive him kindly, and never scold him or complain. At times she would even have to undress him and put him to bed. Sure enough, she came to the door, received them courteously, and willingly agreed to make supper for them without the slightest trace of resentment.

After serving them, she went off to her room. As soon as she had left, one of the men began to condemn the husband. Another did the same and another till they had all departed without eating the meal. Within a half hour, the husband became deeply convicted of his wickedness, and especially of his heartless treatment of his wife. From that time on, he became a devoted disciple of the Lord Jesus.

Won without a word! Perhaps very shortly the Lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer your prayer for them. But in the meantime, seek to commend the truth, not by reproaching them on account of their behavior toward you, but by manifesting toward them the meekness, gentleness and kindness of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a truth for those who are married, period. The most traveled path in a marriage to changing a husband or changing a wife is arguing and nagging, but Peter says this is largely ineffective.

Oftentimes, this pushes the other person farther away, instead of closer to what God desires. Peter says it is the power of a submissive life with purity—meaning no sin—and reverence—which is respect and honor—that has the ability to change a life. This is something that husbands and wives need to get a hold of. Yes, let us speak, but more than that, let our actions speak that our wives may be won and our husbands as well.

This should change many marriages that are largely dominated by arguing with one another. A submissive life is free of sin and sinful responses; it is a life of reverence and respect that transforms.

This life of submission is transformative because it was the life of Christ. Peter has already been arguing that this practice of submission among the authorities of the world could save lives and make them glorify God on the day of visitation 1 Pet 2: Scripture speaks very clearly against that. In Nehemiah, Nehemiah starts to pull the hair out of the men that had married unbelievers Neh Paul says very clearly in 2 Corinthians 6: This does not refer primarily to marriage but to every intimate relationship.

Intimate relationships are yoking relationships; they pull us in a certain direction. He says the Christian who does not separate from worldy relationships will give up intimacy with God and ultimately bring discipline on their lives v.

When I talk to young Christians in church or on college campuses, it seems they are largely unaware of this truth. It is like they have never read the tragic story and warnings in the Bible about courting or marrying unbelievers.

It essentially led to the death of Samson and the discipline of Israel on several occasions. What are your thoughts and feelings about the submission of the wife to her husband?

How do you see this being attacked and lost in society? In a Godly Marriage, the Wife Is Focused on the Internal and Not the External Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. The woman might be tempted to believe that it was all about her beauty and her outward appearance.

But Peter teaches that beauty is not the primary way to honor your husband. Now it should be noted that Peter is not saying that women should not wear jewelry or fine clothes.

He is actually speaking about being consumed with it. No, that is why the interpreters added fine clothes. He was talking about obsession with the external. We live in a world where the woman is tempted to often be consumed with outward adorning and her physical beauty. The world system perpetuates this. God hates this focus on the external because it does not reflect the image of God.

We see this in the story of the choosing of David to be king. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man is consumed with the outward appearance, but I am consumed with the heart.

Characteristics Of A Godly Marriage (1 Peter –7) |

You were made to look like God, to think like him. There is not one child of God who is not beautiful to him. Beauty is a work of the heart. This would rid a lot of people of their insecurities and their pride.

It would close the door on the lies that Satan speaks to so many. You must be lighter, darker, tanner, skinnier, have these kind of eyes, this kind of nose. It is a lie. Let your focus be the inward man and not the outer man. In fact, let us see how much God hates this continual focus on the outward by how he curses the women of Israel in Isaiah 3.

He says this external focus all comes from pride. Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well—dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding emphasis mine.

This is a form of pride which God hates. When a person is all about their outward appearance: Because of this pride, God judged the women of Israel. Sad to say, many of the women in the church have become like this as well. Their focus is their bodies and their appearance, instead of the inward man. They spend more time every day on their outward man—their makeup, their clothes, their hair—instead of working on their inward man.

This shows their idolatry. They run around seeking plastic surgeries because of being consumed with their outside adornment.

Instead of being transformed by the Word of God. They are being conformed and pressed into the mold of the world Romans Wealthy women would often wear their hair up high with tons of jewels wrapped in it. Today, many marriages are also consumed with signs of wealth. They want to show their wealth by having the most expensive car, the most luxurious TV sets and the nicest homes. Like the world, they are consumed with the external, and they want everybody to see and know what they have.

A godly marriage is not like this. It is a marriage focused around God and developing the inward man to please God. Peter says a godly wife is not like this. She clothes herself like ancient godly women as seen in Sarah, who called her husband, Abraham, master. He focuses on two particular attitudes of a godly wife: How should these be demonstrated not only in the life of the woman but the life of the man?

It was used of a wild horse that had been broken and now was tamed. Instead of blowing up over issues, she is calculative. She bears up under hardship and is gentle in her responses.

Joyce Meyer - Marriage Sermon 2017

She is Christ-like, who was also described as gentle and meek in spirit Matt She is also quiet. This also looks back at the temptation of the woman to change her husband by her incessant words and probably complaints 1 Pet 3: She instead restrains her words.

Solomon describes a person who restrains his words as wise. Listen to what he says in Proverbs She is gentle and meek--in control of her emotions and especially her anger. She is reserved in the use of her words. This demonstrates her wisdom.

But let us hear these are traits to be practiced not only by the woman but to be practiced by the husband as well. He is meek, in control of his emotions and his anger, and practices restraint with his words. The Christian home is not superficial, concerned with the outward appearance.

They are not consumed with the external appearance in their clothes, makeup, or skin. The secular home is consumed with these things, but not the godly home.

Marriage Bible Verses

Let it be known that this focus on the outward appearance is a major struggle for many families including Christian ones.

The number one reason for divorce is finances. But not the godly home. The godly home is totally consumed with the inside.

biblical marriage relationship

In fact, they choose not to store up riches because it protects their heart Matt 6: The godly home protects their heart from worshiping things of this world by not storing up the wealth of this world because it has a tendency to steal their heart and crowd out the Word of God as Christ taught Matt If their treasure is clothes, cars, phones, electronics, etc.

The godly home is all about the inside. How can she protect herself from being conformed into the value system of the world? How can Christians marriages protect themselves from this shallow focus on the external? In a Godly Marriage, the Husband Knows His Wife Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Many have wondered if Peter gave so much attention to the woman because the majority of people in these churches were actually women. It is true that women have typically been the most spiritual partners in marriages. They are typically the ones most involved in serving. As pastors, we often watch the wives from the pulpit who are intently watching and listening, while the husbands are struggling to stay awake during service.

This shows part of the reason the church, the home, and our society are in such a poor state. Not many men are willing to step up and lead like Christ in the home and in society by setting a righteous example.

There is a tremendous need to restore biblical manhood in the church, where men are assertive in leading spiritually. I often tell my wife if I was one of the single girls on a college campus these days, most likely I would just stay single.

There are so few men who are willing to be spiritual leaders. I remember leading a Lifestyle Discipleship School one semester at the university, which started every weekday morning at 7: We had like twenty people, and only three to five of them were guys.

This is a commentary on the church. There is a tremendous lack of male spiritual leadership in the church. We will actually pull several points out of this one verse. In this verse, he gives men a secret on how to love and better serve their wives. Listen again to 1 Peter 3: What is one of the things a husband must do to develop a godly marriage?

He must develop a knowledge base. What is this knowledge base?

The Biblical Model For The Marriage Relationship

There are several types of knowledge the husband must cultivate. The husband should intently study his wife. He needs to learn her likes and her dislikes so he can better minister to her.

biblical marriage relationship

I will share a little about one of the things I have learned about my wife. My wife is a hard worker, and she is very empathetic with people. She cares for others. But because of this, she sometimes takes on too much of a load, whether it is meeting with people or cooking for them.

One of the ways I have learned to love her is by protecting her. We are going to order out. I know she really likes it if I do things around the house. I could see the pattern that would lead toward frustration but never really responded to it, which in turn brought frustration in the marriage.

Now I am a veteran of over seven years and I have learned to better understand her rhythms and my rhythm. How else does the husband dwell with his wife according to knowledge? I think this is one of the things that is implied by this knowledge the husband must have. If he is going to be godly husband, he must not only know his wife but Scripture as well and relate to his wife on the basis of Scripture. Listen to Ephesians 5: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless emphasis mine.

One of the things the husband must do in serving his wife is study the Word of God with her, teach her the Word of God, and also help her apply it so she can be without stain or wrinkle. He needs to wash her blemishes, her insecurities. He must build her up in the inner person so she can fulfill all that God has called her to do.

The husband plays the role of Christ. In the same way, Christ equips the church to serve through the Word of God, he calls the husband to do that with his wife.